overheard-at-lux:

Linda: (explaining the turkey pardon) The more photo-friendly of the two gets a Presidential pardon and a full life at a children’s zoo. The other one gets eaten.

Maze: If the Oscars were like that, I’d watch.

socialistexan:

Therapist: “Have you been self harming?”

Me:

parkinglotboy:

If you’re a little weird that’s kinda sexy of you

romy7:

anarcho-shindouism:

it’s dangerous to go alone. take this

thanks

valtsv:

hozier songs are like *blows kiss to the forest* that’s for my baby *throws molotov cocktail at car* AND THAT’S FOR THE REVOLUTION

positivedoodles:

[4-panel comic. A mouse and an elephant are talking.
Panel 1: The mouse says “Sometimes I think it might be nice to make new friends.”
Panel 2: The mouse says “But I just don’t have the energy to be fun and interesting. I’m so tired.”
Panel 3: The elephant says “First, you are fun and interesting.”
Panel 4: The elephant says “Second, people will understand that you’re tired. It will be fun.”]

n-yks:

spcrash:

Sobble straight-up has depression.

We support you sobble!

antiknife:

THE RITUAL IS COMPLETE